Centuries before modern navigation seafarers have kept ship logs for every journey. The log wasn’t only a journal of events, it was the only way a ship could find its way through an endless ocean. Before GPS and radar, mariners used the stars to navigate. Every day they recorded the ship’s coordinates in a logbook entry. But sometimes there were clouds covering the whole sky, making navigation impossible. On occasion, the cloud cover lasted for days. The weather didn’t pardon the sailor from his record-keeping duty, however. When clouds blotted out the night sky the sailor had to imagine where the ship was and log an estimate. He relied on the previous days’ entries to help judge its current location. The ship would drift aimlessly until the clouds broke, revealing the stars. The sailor then plotted accurate coordinates and set the ship back on course.
Like a ship’s logbook, we tell ourselves stories on a daily basis: what’s happening in our lives, what others think of us, what we think of ourselves. Because our view is often clouded, these stories are often imagined. They feel honest. But these stories are mere reflections of our skewed perceptions. Stitched together, these stories form a powerful narrative that guides our sense of self. Our perceptions become our reality, for right or wrong. And our identity is deeply rooted in our reality.
- I’m fat.
- I constantly let my family down.
- I’m a disappointment.
- I’m ugly.
- I’m stupid.
- No one loves me.
- I’m a loser.
- I’m not attractive.
The stories we tell ourselves become an epic saga. If our perceptions are less than healthy, we’re destined to become people who we never wanted to be. That’s exactly what happened to me.
Over the past two years, I’ve been on a journey to get healthy. I’ve been fat–morbidly obese, really–nearly my entire adult life. Until this last couple of years, I didn’t realize how intertwined physical health is with mental health. It was my poor mental and emotional health that so became a drag on my physical health. Thanks to a wake-up call from my wife, the help of a great therapist and psychiatrist, and the support of friends and family, I’ve become mentally and emotionally healthy. There’s always room for improvement, but I am so grateful for the drastic progress I’ve made.
Now it’s time to extend my focus on my health to my body. I want to have more energy. I want to be alive to see my grandkids. I want my physical health to promote greater mental and emotional health. I started this blog because I want to log my health journey. I want to document where I’ve been, where I am now, and to share with you how I got here. Maybe you can relate. Maybe something I did will work for you. Maybe it will help or inspire you or someone you know. Maybe we can connect by social media or email and bear each other’s burdens and celebrate one another’s successes. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes.
It’s my intention that this logbook, this blog, is an honest account of my journey. While honest, it will be composed of entries that are completely factual, and also of entries that are imagined based on my perceptions. No longer will I let stories string together to form a false narrative based on unhealthy perspectives of my past. I’m choosing to flip the script. I’m choosing a healthier me.
